Probability theory, monkey business & seismic exorcism
Published: 25 November, 2010
THE CROW
ARSENAL
THEY say if you give a roomful of monkeys a typewriter each, they will eventually tap out the plays of Shakespeare.
The football version of this theory was played out at the weekend – as our pocket history of north London derbies on Arsenal turf below shows.
If you give Spurs enough chances then after years and years and years of failing, the law of probabilities demands they will get lucky once.
1992/93: Arsenal 1, Spurs 3 – Spurs won
1993/94: Arsenal 1, Spurs 1 – Spurs didn’t win
1994/95: Arsenal 1, Spurs 1 – Spurs didn’t win
1995/96: Arsenal 0, Spurs 0 – Spurs didn’t win
1996/97: Arsenal 3, Spurs 1 – Spurs didn’t win
1997/98: Arsenal 0, Spurs 0 – Spurs didn’t win
1998/99: Arsenal 0, Spurs 0 – Spurs didn’t win
2000/2001: Arsenal 2, Spurs 0 – Spurs didn’t win
2001/2002: Arsenal 2, Spurs 1 – Spurs didn’t win
2002/2003: Arsenal 3, Spurs 0 – Tee hee
2003/2004: Arsenal 2, Spurs 1 – Tee hee
2004/2005: Arsenal 1, Spurs 0 – Nope
2005/2006: Arsenal 1, Spurs 1 – Nope
2006/2007: Arsenal 3, Spurs 0 – Nope
2007/2008: Arsenal 2, Spurs 1 – Easy
2008/2009: Arsenal 4, Spurs 4 – DVD
2009/2010: Arsenal 3, Spurs 0 – you guessed it, Spurs didn’t win !
2010/11: Arsenal 2, Spurs 3
Harrumph. Finally.
RICHARD OSLEY
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR
SO, the Emirates is no longer a place that Spurs fans go to mourn. Imagine how upset phone companies were, as half of north London’s mobile service suddenly went down at about 2.30pm on Saturday.
No, really. I was worried after Spurs came back from 2-0 down to win 3-2. I had visions of near suicidal Arsenal fans wandering the streets of Islington, mimicking Arsene Wenger and throwing water bottles at the ground in anger.
I wondered whether the hand ball by Cesc Fabregas – that beautifully choreographed and expertly executed arabesque which led to the equalising penalty – would have supporters scrambling to exchange season tickets for membership to the Royal Ballet.
Honestly Cesc, that style of defending was more akin to a production of The Nut Cracker than a football match! Dinners went to waste that night; grown men and women were heard rooting through dustbin bags and arguing while looking for the William Gallas shirt they were going to take to a charity shop but never quite got around to. Gallas was immense, and with Tottenham not registering an away win in the league at Arsenal for 17 years, it was an exorcism of seismic proportions.
Not that we care, but you won’t hear a Gooner saying well done... for it is a record they cherished possibly more than any other. A word to the wise, “no situation is permanent”.
Two nil and you messed it up!
How we laughed.
TONY DALLAS