Style counsel? Leave it out!
Published: 4 March
WELL, that’s it for me. I am officially giving up my policy of using footballers as role models.
I, like the intelligentsia who read the Daily Mail, have for years been basing my behaviour and key life decisions on the lead shown by the greatest footballers of the past 25 years.
This started well. Pat Nevin helped fine-tune my fashion sense and pretentious Pierre-Joseph Proudhon quotes, and Paul Gascoigne inspired for hedonistic excess.
However, the tide turned with the Bobby Pires years, a painful series of entirely unnecessary falls whilst sticking out a leg to catch unsuspecting pedestrians in Kentish Town.
I really began to question the wisdom of modelling my behaviour on footballers when I headed north for inspiration. I started missing critical meetings because my brain went shopping Rio Ferdinand style.
Then I took the Steven Gerard stance that no music could compare to the genius of Phil Collins and any dissent should be beaten down.
In the present, the year started well. I was Dad of the Year and a respected leader amongst men, whilst sharing my love with the numerous lingerie models that used to go out with my mates.
Texting photos of myself to women I didn’t know felt a bit naughty – but not as successful as I’d hoped.
Even I can spot the flaw in, when faced with a potentially life defining decision, asking myself: “What would Craig Bellamy do?”
So, having abandoned footballers as moral pathfinders, I shall now be turning to our elected representatives for guidance.
MPs as role models... What could go wrong?
BRUCE MACRAE
Sin bin ban these dirty cloggers
SO, yet another Arsenal player is too good for the opposition, so he gets his leg smashed. If this is just coincidence, why does it only happen regularly to Arsenal players?
Ryan Shawcross should hold his head in shame, no more crocodile tears and no more excuses.
Stoke City manager Tony Pulis builds his game on kicking the opposition. His players cannot beat teams like Arsenal by playing football, so they resort to violence under the guise of being “physical”.
Man United and Chelski are physical, Stoke are violently dirty.
If those in charge want to stop cloggers like Shawcross crippling opposition players, I have a suggestion: If a player commits a foul worthy of a straight red card, and the fouled player is seriously injured, the player responsible should be banned until the injured player is available again for selection. Then the guilty player should start their automatic three game suspension.
GEORGE CURLEY