He’s not a broken man – that’s just his madcap hair shake

Published: August 25, 2011

IF I was Arsene Wenger I would have reacted slightly differently to Arsenal's win in Udinese.

Instead of getting up and tapping the air gently with two clenched fists when Theo Walcott scored, I (being Wenger) would have folded bent double over my thighs and run my fingers through my hair (remember, I'm Wenger – not me) in a madcap way. Like a mad professor man. Just like Wenger did against Liverpool. Just think, this would have given him licence to claw his hair like a possessed cat and act out stomach cramps whenever he wanted to this season without scrutiny and whatever his team achieve. Arsenal surrender limply (Liverpool). The madcap hair shake. Arsenal qualify for the Champions League with Frimpong and Jenkinson (Udinese). The madcap hair shake.

Nobody could then say he was a broken man with a dream torn to shreds, as journalists love to do, if he just did it routinely. In truth, Wenger has been persecuted unfairly. There is too much glee in his sideline contortions. He's clipped 14 years in the Champions League now. Only Manchester United and Real Madrid have a better straight run in the meaningful stages than that – and look how much they have chugged on transfer fees. He shows loyalty to players which is not repaid to him. He insists on the passing game. And most admirably, he champions financial fair play which makes Chelsea and Money City rightly blush with shame.
RICHARD OSLEY


I’M not being funny: but it’s a real mystery to me how, in modern times, any team can go 20 years without beating another!

For all the possession and pretty football from my beloved, there was a inevitability about this performance against Manchester United. With a back four missing Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic, Spurs could still be playing now and not score. 

I watched the game in a sports bar in Le Touquet in France, surrounded by French United supporters and an Arsenal supporter who, for selfish reasons, was as disappointed as I at the lack of Spurs fire-power. It was excruciating to say the least. Devoid of a target man up front, Spurs looked impotent, with Rafael van der Vaart having to shoot from distance on several occasions and Aaron Lennon still not wearing his crossing boots!

In my opinion you cannot wait until the season has started to bring in new blood unless, of course, it’s in the January transfer market. With only a few days to go until this window closes I fear it’s already too late to bring in players to make the huge impact Tottenham need. It’s like going to the supermarket at five on a Sunday evening looking for a bargain: the best bits will already have been sold.

You’ll get what’s left but usually what’s left needs to be eaten within a few days. Not a good recipe if planning for the future.
TONY DALLAS