Fairy tales can’t cover nakedness

Published: 11 February 2010

ON Sunday Chelsea’s glorious return to the top of the Premiership was a fairy tale ending to a rather grim week, especially with the hysterical outbreak of Victorian Puritanism from the tabloids. 

From the start of the match it was apparent Arsene Wenger was presenting an offering of Hans Christian Andersen classics for our enjoyment.  

The tale of Thumbelina sprang to mind as Arsenal’s tiny terrors toddled onto the pitch alongside normal-sized Chelsea players. Can’t any taller boys be found in Holloway?

There was a moment of empathy from the Chelsea supporters as the Gunners’ beleaguered followers set off a distress flare. “Oh look, they want to be rescued, the poor lambs.Who can blame them?” quipped one sympathetic wit. 

For me the flare evoked the tragic tale of The Little Match Girl as the flame burnt out. Arsenal were left to freeze in the cold for another season; with only dreamlike memories of long gone happier times. Times when Granny Adams would play with a bit of passion to generate some warmth in the long winter nights.

Having said that, watching Wenger fly into a rage when the Chelsea supporters kept the ball warmed the cockles of my heart.   

The final whistle blew and dancing to One Step Beyond broke out. Meanwhile, in the bowels of Stamford Bridge, Wenger’s description of the match and his team’s performance resonated with one final fairy tale, The Emperor’s New Clothes.  

There was the naked truth; Arsenal are a team of pretty passers but underneath they are bare and will win nothing for the foreseeable future unless they stop living in a land of fairy tales. They need some more practical footballing garments like defending, flexibility and an ability to score against world class defenders. 

BRUCE MACRAE