Dear Santa, a Spurs DVD, a new keeper, and horse placenta, please

DEAR Father Christmas,

Here’s my Christmas list. Please drop by..
1. A new striker. Please, purr-lease. Andrey Arshavin can’t do it all on his own up there.
2. Magic horse placenta ointment stuff. For van Persie, Rosicky, Djourou and the zillion other Arsenal players on the injured list.
3 The Whole Nine Goals DVD from the Spurs shop. I want to give this to a Tottenham-supporting colleague who sat through two decades of miserable matches at the Lane, but missed the lucky 9-1 win over Wigan earlier this season.
4. A new Arsenal duvet. With good tog.
5. New presenters for the Football League Show. The threat of relegation for any club must be so much worse with the awful spectre of Manish, Steve Claridge and Lizzie-with-your-emails discussing your club until 2am in the morning.
6. A new goalkeeper. I know Manuel Almunia saves penalties now and then, but is he strong enough to win us the league? In the same bold way that David Seaman was?
7. Satsumas.
8. Patrick Vieira. He may be past his best but how fantastic would it be to see him back? He could just stand around the Emirates and inspire. He wouldn’t even need to play – just guide Wenger’s young guns on to glory.
Go get him for us, Santa.
RICHARD OSLEY

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WELL, it was a great week for Spurs, racking up the points in the hunt for Champions League football.
It also turned the Wolves defeat into a harsh but important lesson: Don’t “play golf” in Ireland midweek, especially not Robbie Keane’s brand of Crazy Irish Pub Golf.
Although our ruthless decimation of Manchester City was the finer of our two wins this week (and a noteworthy catalyst in the Mark Hughes sacking), my highlight was the sarcastic cheers of Blackburn fans as Tom Huddlestone’s shot led to our first goal. It felt like a case of karma.
As Harry Redknapp courts the IRS and their affiliates I can relate to the board’s instinctive reaction to protect him. Any man who gets Nico Kranjcar for £2.5million is a genius, be it with a chequebook or a cheeky favour and a wink or two.
On the other side of north London, Arsene Wenger accused Mick McCarthy of showing a lack of respect for the Premier League after the Wolves boss made 10 changes to his team against Manchester United.
This from the man who single-handedly demoted the significance of the Carling Cup through a decade of disrespectful team selections and a gradual and systematic breakdown of the expectations of his own fans. He’s the pioneer of McCarthy’s tactics which he seems to have forgotten.
PIP WROE

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