Friends of Gospel Oak activist Joan Stally track down late husband’s grave

Published: 27th January, 2011
by DAN CARRIER

FRIENDS and neigh­bours of a woman who dedicated her time to helping others have turned detective to piece together her life and finally lay her to rest. 

Joan Stally was found dead in her Gospel Oak flat in October. The community activist, while caring passion­ately for the area she lived in, was deeply private. And because of this, and the fact she left no will nor had any close relatives, Joan’s friends have had to wait until now to hold her funeral – after a four-month search to find her late-husband’s grave.

This week, Joan, who was active on the St Silas Tenants Association for many years, will finally be buried alongside her husband Peter. 

Since her death, those who knew her, along with councillors and Town Hall staff who wanted the chance to say goodbye, have been searching for the grave. After diligent work by councillors Roger Robinson and Jill Fraser, council staff discovered her marriage certificate, and then a death certificate for her husband, showing he passed away tragically young. 

Somers Town councillor Roger Robinson recalled she had mentioned her late husband was a pilot. He said: “We knew she had married an RAF officer called Peter Stally, and we wanted to find where he was buried.”

The Spitfire pilot had survived the war, but died in a tube crash in Stratford in 1953, on his way home from a job interview as he looked for work as a commercial pilot. 

Lib Dem councillor Jill Fraser was also keen to help.

She added: “When someone dies with no next of kin, the council takes charge of a funeral. Often, if there is no will and no relatives, the funeral is paid for out of Town Hall funds.”

Details have now emerged of Joan’s last days. Her friend, Elaine Mackover, spoke to her around 48 hours before she passed away. Elaine, a member of the Conservative Women’s Association that Joan worked for as a secretary, had discussed minutes she was due to type up. Joan said she was feeling a little run down and would ensure they were ready for the group’s Monday night meeting. She never showed up, and, by the Wednesday, Elaine and Joan’s neighbour, Peter Horne, were worried enough to call the police.

Officers found she had passed away in her bed, sometime over the weekend.

Collated snippets of memories also helped a fuller picture emerge. Some recalled Joan as a vegetarian and an animal lover, while others remembered a person who couldn’t resist giving a home to stray cats. A practising Roman Catholic, Joan left London after her husband’s death and lived in Africa during the 1950s and 1960s. This experience, alongside an early life growing up in a patriotic family, had helped forge an intense love of the UK – Joan would send St George’s Day cards to friends. She worked for Camden Council in the 1980s as a personal assistant.

Joan enjoyed the theatre and music, and helped organise events for charities. 

She would be seen at mayor-making ceremonies and fund-raising dinners, but, again, friends say she would clam up if the conversation turned to more personal matters.

Even Joan’s date of birth has not been confirmed – some friends believe she was born in 1923, others say it was 10 years later. 

She is now due to have a funeral at her local Catholic church, St Dominic’s, before she is taken to her husband’s final resting place in an RAF cemetery in North Weald, Essex. Donations are being collected by funeral directors Leverton to have her name inscribed on the stone that marks his grave. 

It means Joan Stally will rest in peace alongside Peter, and her many friends in Gospel Oak can now feel they too have had the chance to say goodbye. 

• Joan Stally’s funeral will take place at St Dominics, Southampton Road, NW5, at 11.30am on Wednesday, February 2.