What Causes Attraction? 10 Possible Answers
Published: 2nd June, 2011
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WHEN searching for your perfect partner on a dating website Bradford has many eligible singles to choose from; and some may appeal to you immediately, leaving you wondering just what it is that draws certain people to each other. The fact is that this is, and always has been, something of a mystery.
The following are possible causes of attraction, and it is likely that every couple experiences a combination of these factors:
1. Looks/Physique
A person’s appearance is often hailed as the holy grail of attraction. However, while we may initially notice a person because of their pleasant face, nice eyes or perfectly straight teeth, a relationship is unlikely to develop solely based on these attributes.
Physique is another point of attraction which some people can be quite specific about. Physical attributes that people find attractive are very varied, and may be due to subconscious factors.
2. Sense of humour
Studies have shown that a ‘GSOH’ tops the charts as the most sought after personal attribute in a potential partner for good reason. A study led by psychologist Kristofor McCarty from Northumbria University has shown that women do find funny men more attractive.
This is thought to be because funny men come across as more intelligent, which leads nicely onto the next point.
3. Intelligence
Some people find intelligence attractive. Women in particular have been shown to find intelligent men more attractive. This is because they subconsciously perceive them to be a better prospect as a provider.
On the other hand, some people find a lack of intelligence or a ‘dizziness’ cute and endearing. This especially applies to men who may enjoy the protective feelings that this gives them over a potential partner.
4. Personality type
With so many different personality types it is difficult to work out what specific personality traits you may be attracted to. For example, you may find the confidence of an extrovert attractive, yet be put off by their need for attention.
5. Proximity
This might seem simple but we are more likely to feel attracted to people who are close to us. This may be because regular contact leads to familiarity and this leads to attachments being made. While it could also be because you’re more likely to have things in common with someone in close proximity to you. Perhaps this is where the phrase ‘he grew on me’ stems from.
6. Admiration
We’re naturally more likely to be attracted to someone who we have admiration and respect for. There are many reasons to admire someone, however, and that alone rarely forms the basis of a good relationship.
7. Morals, values and beliefs
When you discover that a potential partner shares the same morals, values and beliefs as you, you may feel an attraction based on common ground and mutual understanding.
8. Ambitions
Finding out that a potential partner wants the same things as you do from life is comforting, and may strengthen an attraction.
Conversely, you may feel strongly attracted to a person in many ways, but if they confess that they are against marriage, don’t want to have children, or have no desire to earn a good living then you may find the attraction waning.
9. Style
We all have different tastes and preferences when it comes to fashion trends and style statements, so we are more likely to feel attracted to someone whose style decisions we like and admire.
10. Reciprocation
The simple fact is that we are more likely to be attracted to someone who is attracted to us. This is because positive attention makes us feel good, and we then associate feeling good with the person who has caused it.
Attraction is a very complex and changeable thing, and couples will have a unique mix of points of attraction between them.
Dating website http://www.eHarmony.co.uk believes that relationships should be based on all points of attraction, rather than just physical attraction. Taking this approach increases the chances of a meaningful and long-lasting relationship, which is something that every romantic looking for love is hoping for.