The NeverEnding Airport Story
AIRPORT horror stories’: they’re definitely up there with the best amusing dinner party anecdotes. Everyone has one, whether it’s the brutal reality of facing a cavity search, being threatened with imprisonment or passport confiscation, or the more gruelling experience of having to wait for 24 hours on a cold hard floor in freezing conditions, surviving only on what you can scavenge from a less than appetising airport canteen.
Now, having experienced the ‘NeverEnding Airport Story’ in the days before iPods, smartphones and notebook computers, this writer would take a quick cavity search over a long wait any day.
One thing is true about being forced to wait in an airport for an obscene amount of time: a lot depends on which airport you’re in. Sure, it’s all sunshine, kittens and rainbows if you find yourself trapped in the departure lounge at an airport like Heathrow, or even (joy of joys) Hong Kong International – a place so wonderful you could easily “pull a Tom Hanks” and live your whole life there.
However, if you’re unfortunate enough to be stuck in one of the world’s ‘less impressive’ airstrips/aerodromes/hangars – and that’s putting it mildly -- it is an entirely different kettle of fish. Bereft of fast food, duty free, an endless supply of glossy mags, computer arcades, clean toilets (or even comfortable seats), even the most hardy of travellers begins to feel a slight shiver creep up their spine when the departures board signals their flight has been delayed.
This writer can attest that in these situations, how bearable it is comes down to your travelling companions. If you are unfortunate enough to be alone, the best advice is to find someone who speaks your language and make friends; the last thing you want is for an already prison-like experience to become more like solitary confinement.
It’s at this point, I assume, many of you will be shouting “what about a book?” Surely that greatest of inventions will be able to ensure that the single (unsociable) traveller will stay sane even during the most arduous of waits. This is a fair point: there’s no doubt that books are essential on any journey.
Just make sure you take more than one. The last thing you want is to be stuck in the middle of Belarus only to find out that you are on the last chapter of your book. Of course (he says with a wry grin) you could always try the airport bookstore ... if it has one. Upon entering this establishment, and perusing their selection, you will discover that few things put you on the road towards insanity quicker than trying to pass the time by deciphering a book in a language that isn’t your own.
There are, of course, a number of other ways for the intrepid traveller to entertain him or herself. Only recently, this writer witnessed a whole group of people clustered together on the floor of an airport playing dice games (note the importance of company).
There is no doubt that, with the onward march of technology, long waits at airports are becoming less arduous. Thanks to smartphones we have an infinite number of ways to keep ourselves entertained; be it Angry Birds, or games such as online keno, roulette, or even bingo.
Published: 20th July, 2011
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